Thursday, September 11, 2008

Remembering


I didn't want to let today pass without saying something about 9/11/01.

Our country has changed in so many ways due to the horrible events on that day.

Peoples' lives have changed.

Politicians say that we need to feel safe, do what we can to accomplish that sense of security.

How can we really feel safe?

I don't believe we have that control. No matter how many walls, fences, or security measures we create, we can not have that kind of safety.

So, how do we live?

For me, I have to live each day and hope that my world won't be turned upside down from a phone call saying someone I love has died or has discovered they have a disease. I have to live my life as if tragic events won't come my way any time soon.

If I live in fear and try to control all that's around me, I am not really living.

A neighbor of mine told me that someone got stabbed on a street that I frequently walk down. She said it was during the day and I need to avoid that street now.

No, i'm not going to do that. I will be aware of my surroundings and take certain precautions but i'm not going to stop doing the things I want to do because of some event or someone elses fear.

I want to remember all the people who died on 9/11, stop for a few moments and think about the losses the families are dealing with and will always deal with.

To honor those who are dying every day, I want to live my life to the fullest. Try to be happy and try to help others in need. I don't believe that living in fear and reacting in violence will honor the people who have died.

So, to all those who have died and to all those who are grieving or in pain in some way, I honor you! I hold you in my heart and send you healing white light.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Objects of Memory


I saw this show on PBS about Objects with Memories.

At first I thought it was about psychic ability, to retrieve memories or emotions from objects by touching them.

I was surprised to find out it was about objects saved from tragic events. Mostly about 9/11.

People had left personal items at "ground zero" and all over the city. In memory of people who had died.

Objects were also found from the two towers, personal items, that were given to family members of the people who died. The items were simple to most but to the families they were profound. Some people told the stories behind the items, like this one woman who said her sister loved her summer bag and inside it were her rosary beads. Another woman said her husband carried a $2.00 bill in his wallet and she did as well, 2 hearts connecting, second marriage etc.... His bill was totally intact.

It got me thinking about items that i've saved when people have gone from my life.

When I was younger I used to save the oddest things. I saved matchbooks and drink coasters from dates I had with a current crush of the week. I saved concert ticket stubs, buttons, stickers. So much stuff.

Then when my boyfriend died I wanted as much of his things as I could get a hold of. In search of something to bring him closer to me, closer to my heart. He used to roll his own cigarettes
and after he died I found one in my ashtray and saved it. I was able to get a few of his personal items that his birth mom had in storage. The one thing I treasure most is a sweater that he had worn on his last trip here to the states, when I had met him. After his celebration of life gathering I had found it on the bed he was sleeping on. I held it to me and could smell him on the sweater. I didn't want to take it off. Luckily I was able to keep it. I made copies of pictures of him when I hadn't even met him. Someone elses' memories. I wanted to somehow piece together his past, understand him more, get to know him without him.

That was nearly 9 years ago.

Nowadays I just have one picture out of him and its not the first thing I see when I wake up.

I've moved on in some ways, but in others i'll never move on. He is a part of my history, a part of my heart.

The objects don't matter anymore, just the memories.

I do believe that objects are a part of the healing that needs to happen for anyone grieving. It can bring you back to the moments you need to remember, to hold close to your heart.