Thursday, February 14, 2008


Valentines Poem

I used to have anti-valentines day parties years ago. All my single friends would come over. The requirements were to wear all black and if you HAD to bring a date then you were not allowed to touch each other. I made cut out hearts with cracks through them. I played "love stinks" on the CD player. Blew up black balloons....you get the idea. It was just an excuse to get some lonely single people together on a night that can be depressing. Its so in-your-face, the expectations of having to share this night with someone you love.


I had found my true love back in 1999, and lost him that same year. He was an amazing guy and I miss him still, very much.


This poem is dedicated to him, Stuart Cook.


Happy V-day everyone!

Love one another!




Sonnet LXXXI By: Pablo Neruda

And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream.

Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.

The night turns on its invisible wheels,

and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,

we will go together, over the waters of time.

No one else will travel through the shadows with me,

only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists

and let their soft drifting signs drop away;

your eyes closed like two gray wings, and I move

after, following the folding water you carry, that carries

me away. The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.

Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.


Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Crows

Last night and early this morning I heard the crows. I looked outside to see what seemed like hundreds of crows flying in the air and perched on trees together.

I remember seeing that last year and being awestruck. It was like out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

Lots of people think that crows are automatically a sign of bad news or bad omen. I disagree. Crows are wonderfully magikal birds that are also very intelligent. I love watching them.

Today my little (just under) 3 year old niece is having her first and hopefully last surgery. I see the crows as a good sign, that she will be fine. Her daddy is strongly connected to crow energy, so I feel its got to be a good sign. The power is behind her, and surrounding her with healing, loving energy.

Its also snowing pretty hard. Of course it is....theres a surgery happening.

I went to a support group last night for breast and gynecological cancers at a wonderful community center. I always feel better when I leave the group. Its not always perfect and sometimes a bit caotic but i'm always glad I went. The people there are some of the most courageous people you'll ever meet.

Cancer Survivors Kick Butt!!

I'm going to make a bumper sticker with that on it. Now I just need to buy a car to put it on.

Please send out your healing prayers for Greta, my beautiful niece, thank you!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

"Crazy Train"

Shoulds

I havent written in the blog lately because I havent felt positive enough, I "should" feel positive and maybe be inspirational.....and so on...

My brain wants to tell me what I should do or that i'm not enough, not good enough.

I now realize that I decided to write this blog coming from an honest place, good or bad, dark or light, happy or sad, ....you get the picture.

So i'm not doing so great right now and i'm feeling guilty about that, like i've failed somehow. Sounds silly, but when i get feeling down I sometimes feel like i've gone backwards and i'll have to make up all that work I put into feeling good, all over again.

If someone else was saying these things to me I would tell them that's not true. We don't necessarily go backwards if we are aware of our derailment. Its like that saying when someone asks if they are crazy. To ask oneself "Am I Crazy?", means they probably aren't or they would not have asked the question. Being aware of our faults is to be conscious of wanting to improve.

I have jumped off the train for a bit, but i plan on jumping back on soon.

Menopause is not something to take lightly, neither is cancer, depression, or any other challenge people go through. We ARE human after all. Aren't we "here" to learn and make mistakes?

Thats my sunday sermon for today, i won't be passing a collection plate around....

peace