Saturday, January 12, 2008

Final Phase

Back to reality.

No more vacation for me, its time to put my feet firmly on the ground and take a look around me.

Two more days till surgery.

....my cat Stewie does not want me to type right now, he jumped on my computer and is now lying on my arms as i try to type this. The things we put up with for our furry friends....

The reality of the surgery is becoming clear. The unknown is a tough one for me. I tend to want to see whats ahead of me, know what the ratio of possibilities of outcome are. To go into something willingly, not knowing what my body and mind are going to say about it all, is scary.

I think of how people can ruin a good relationship by inserting fear. That whole saying...you don't know what you've got till its gone. Well, i know i have a good thing going now, i feel better than i've felt in years, emotionally anyway, so knowing that that could all change after monday is scary. Who wants to do that?

I made my decision and I am sticking to it. The alternative isnt any better for me in the long run.

I'll just have to do what i did at the movie theater in London, when i saw I AM LEGEND, I plugged my ears and squinted my eyes, held my breath at certain parts and rode out the scary bits.

I'll just ride it out and see what happens, my next new adventure!

My surgery will be technically at 11:50am EST in Maine, if anyone is curious.

Peace, Love and Dark Chocolate!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Crow at Bushy Park

Sun behind Stonehenge

Happy New Year!!!!

I'm back in the good 'ole U S of A!

I had a smashing good time in England and Scotland. Jetlag is definitely an issue however. I had forgotten about that bit on the other end, coming back. I now wish i had a few more days before i go under the knife again, to recoup. Ah well, get it over with i say.

I won't get into everything i did overseas, but i did want to mention two special moments i experienced.

One, was when my friend and I were driving to Devon and we got stuck in a horrible traffic jam, thats not the special moment part, .......as we were sitting and creeping along, my friend casually mentions that "oh, yeah, we will be passing by Stonehenge.." I whip my head around and say "passing by?!" He should know me better by now and know that I couldn't possibly just pass by Stonehenge without stopping. How often does that happen? You happen to be going by ancient ruins that are one of the wonders of the world.

We stopped.

It ended up being a good thing we veered off for Stonehenge, we used my friends GPS system, with a sexy British womans voice, to find another way around the traffic jam.

The timing was perfect to see the stones. The sun was going down, the lighting was perfect. The only downside if there had to be one was that it was absolutely freezing out, but sunny all the same, and i didnt care too much, it was Stonehenge for fracks' sake!

This was not my first time at Stonehenge. I had been one other time, the first time i came to England in '99/'00. The line was huge, it was raining and freezing, and there were obnoxious tourists (surprisingly not american) yelling about something. i had been to even older stones before that and was too tired for the commercial scene i came upon. I didnt even pay to get into the gate that day, just took a picture and got back on the bus to go back to my hostel.

This experience was so much better. I got some decent pictures of the sun going down behind the stones. It was funny seeing everyone there snapping pictures at the same time, like papparazzi. All you heard was click, flash, click, ......cameras going nuts. Not exactly a magikal moment.

Even so, it was a wonderful surprise to be able to go there unplanned.

The second special moment may seem strange to some, but people that know me will understand.

I went to a local park in Kingston, Bushy Park and another smaller park nearby, with a relative of my friend. We saw swans, and all kinds of birds and ducks. I love the trees there, very old and knotty. The moment I wanted to share is of when i interacted with a crow. The English crows are different than American crows. They look a bit different and the sounds they make are not the same.

There was a crow, by itself, on a post nearby a huge deer pack/herd. The Queen protects the deer in the park so they multiply quite a bit. The deer are mostly white and brown. If you or your dog gets too close to the herd they can attack you.

So I was taking pictures of the herd and the crow suddenly started "talking" to me. He made all these interesting sounds. Then he would jump around a bit on the post. He flew to the ground and acted like a dog almost. He was playing with me. I was trying to make some similar sounds too. He would peck at a piece of litter on the ground, and look up at me. He was about two feet from me. I thought I could have watched him all day. It was so much fun.

I had to meet up with my friends' friend and the dog we were walking. She purposely kept the dog away due to the deer herd, so i could take some pictures. I would have stayed with the crow longer if i had been alone.

This year has really taught me to be in the moment, and to also go with your gut. Not always plan your day. You never know what might happen.

You may just end up playing with a wild animal or stop at some ancient ruins.