Saturday, January 12, 2008

Final Phase

Back to reality.

No more vacation for me, its time to put my feet firmly on the ground and take a look around me.

Two more days till surgery. cat Stewie does not want me to type right now, he jumped on my computer and is now lying on my arms as i try to type this. The things we put up with for our furry friends....

The reality of the surgery is becoming clear. The unknown is a tough one for me. I tend to want to see whats ahead of me, know what the ratio of possibilities of outcome are. To go into something willingly, not knowing what my body and mind are going to say about it all, is scary.

I think of how people can ruin a good relationship by inserting fear. That whole don't know what you've got till its gone. Well, i know i have a good thing going now, i feel better than i've felt in years, emotionally anyway, so knowing that that could all change after monday is scary. Who wants to do that?

I made my decision and I am sticking to it. The alternative isnt any better for me in the long run.

I'll just have to do what i did at the movie theater in London, when i saw I AM LEGEND, I plugged my ears and squinted my eyes, held my breath at certain parts and rode out the scary bits.

I'll just ride it out and see what happens, my next new adventure!

My surgery will be technically at 11:50am EST in Maine, if anyone is curious.

Peace, Love and Dark Chocolate!

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