Sunday, February 10, 2008

Shoulds

I havent written in the blog lately because I havent felt positive enough, I "should" feel positive and maybe be inspirational.....and so on...

My brain wants to tell me what I should do or that i'm not enough, not good enough.

I now realize that I decided to write this blog coming from an honest place, good or bad, dark or light, happy or sad, ....you get the picture.

So i'm not doing so great right now and i'm feeling guilty about that, like i've failed somehow. Sounds silly, but when i get feeling down I sometimes feel like i've gone backwards and i'll have to make up all that work I put into feeling good, all over again.

If someone else was saying these things to me I would tell them that's not true. We don't necessarily go backwards if we are aware of our derailment. Its like that saying when someone asks if they are crazy. To ask oneself "Am I Crazy?", means they probably aren't or they would not have asked the question. Being aware of our faults is to be conscious of wanting to improve.

I have jumped off the train for a bit, but i plan on jumping back on soon.

Menopause is not something to take lightly, neither is cancer, depression, or any other challenge people go through. We ARE human after all. Aren't we "here" to learn and make mistakes?

Thats my sunday sermon for today, i won't be passing a collection plate around....

peace

1 comment:

Rae said...

That train will wait for you at the next station or the one after that. I think it's ok to give yourself permission to sometimes not feel positive. Cancer just sux! Menopause too can be a huge challenge - my waist is gone! Seems silly but it all matters and "hot flashes"? How dare they call themselves that! More like a jolt from hell! You are awesome! Bald women are beautiful! I love you and I've never even met you!