Tuesday, March 11, 2008

One step forward, two steps back

I was really starting to feel better, and looking forward, had a plan of action.

Then the hospital calls.

"We forgot to go over your bone density test with you the other day and theres some news to tell you."


I met with my oncologist to discuss the results.

I had the bone density test to get a base line for when i get tested later. Since i was/am starting a drug that helps against cancer but causes bone loss, they wanted to get the numbers.

Well, my oncologist was surprised to find out that i indeed already have osteoporosis on my spine and early signs of osteoporosis on my femur (leg bone), called osteopenia.


osteoporosis at age 38?


It was probably sped up from the heavy doses of chemo i had last year. my dr. thinks it is probably genetic but so far i havent heard of anyone having it early like me and only one person who had it at an old age.

damn chemo

I know it could be worse and i need to look at this with perspective, but geesh!!!!!

Worse case scenario.....my spine collapses and i am hunched over in extreme pain for the rest of my life......well, i suppose thats not the worse case.......

so, i'll be on a drug, possibly for the rest of my life. It will be battling it out with the cancer preventing drug.

I told my doctor that they should start looking into a nursing home for me soon. Thats how i'm feeling now. Old and crumbling.

I went to a party in NH over the weekend. Felt old then too. Lots of young people. One guy hit on me, he was in his 20's. I guess i should feel flattered. But then he went and hit on a young pretty girl. It just reminds me of where i'm at. He asked "what do you do?".

hate that question with a passion

Right now? I'm playing the medication game, and trying- to- stay- positive game. Thats all I can deal with at this moment.

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