Sunday, October 14, 2007

Celebrate! Celebrate!

This week has been a bit of a blur, but in a good way! Very busy.

I have been behind with my emails and phone calls. I've been running around with appointments and having fun, with no time for anything else. I deserve a fun week, for sure! I did deal with some business as well, going over my options for the next step in my treatment. I still havent decided yet, what path to go down. Next week i'll be more focused on my research and making some sort of decision.

I just wish i could have a year off before i decide anything. I don't really have that luxury. I suppose i could take some time off, but it would be against my doctors recommendations.

I want to throw a tantrum and not do anything. I finally feel more myself. I'm not sure when the last time I felt this good, in some ways, was. Even before my cancer diagnosis.

I don't want the good feelings to go away. If I make a decision things will change, maybe temporarily, but it will change.

On a lighter note. I had a blast at a fund raiser for Live2Thrive, Live pronounced like give. Its a new group for young cancer survivors from ages 18-45 or so. The group is through the Cancer Community Center. So the benefit was at a bar called Una. They are known for their good martinis. The picture of me is at Unas with my first martini in almost a year. Yummy! The band was awesome, Rustic Overtones, thanks guys! I had two friends come up from NH and my step sister went too. Fun times!

I met a guy there that had done 3 tours in the military. One to Sudan/Darfur, One to Baghdad, and one to Fallujah. He looked fairly young and told me he is going back and he "loves it!". Wow. I felt very sad after speaking with him. His face changed when he started telling me about how we are so sheltered over here, that the media waters down the truth. He also mentioned how troupes have been going over to Korea for some time now, getting ready for another possible war. Who knows if thats true, but it wouldnt surprise me if we (USA) went after Korea or Iran next. .......Sigh......I don't understand how a young man can say that he loves it over where there is so much hate and violence. How can war be glamorized? I don't understand it.

Friday night I went to a party for my friend Matt, Happy Birthday Matt! Good food, good company! I wish i had had energy to play ping pong with the kids. I used to love to play that when i was young. I remember there being a ping pong table in the family den. I dont have a lot of memories of my young life, but thats one of them.

Friday day i had been down town, took a bus. It was absolutely pouring out, all day. Streets were flooding, drains clogging, skies opened up. On the bus there was only one other woman sitting near the driver. Shes a regular rider who knows the driver. They were singing old songs, it was really nice. Pouring rain, windows all fogged up, with singing. On my way home, i walked quite a way, getting more and more soaked. After a while it doesnt seem to matter that i have an umbrella. I just laughed and started singing, "I'm singing in the rain...." it makes no sense to be upset or irritated. I'm glad i could laugh about it.

I believe everyone should sing in the rain at least once in their lifetime, its very cleansing for the soul.

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