Friday, April 4, 2008

Differnt kinds of tired

I got up at 6:30 this morning in order to get to PT on time. I have to take fosamax once a week for my osteoporosis. In order to do that i have to take it first thing in the morning with a full glass of water, stand for 30 minutes and not eat or drink anything for at least that amount of time. When you are very tired it's especially hard to stand up first thing and keep busy, waiting for the timer to run out.

I then went to PT and had to muster up some energy to do my workout. The last week or so i've been experiencing extreme fatigue. Part of me worries about the cancer being back. Fatigue is a big sign of cancer. I know its silly and i need not worry about it. Fatigue can mean many different things. I can't help but wonder though.

I see my cat sleeping most of the day and get envious. Maybe my next life i'll come back as a cat.

There are different kinds of tired i've learned this past year.

When i was in chemo treatment I discovered a whole new tired. The kind where your body is desperately wanting to sleep but your mind won't let you. When you do sleep it doesnt make you feel better like when you take a nap and feel refreshed. Nope, not the case with chemo fatigue.

This kind of tired i'm experiencing is the kind where my motor skills are off and i am bumping into things, real clumsy. I have dry eyes and squint to keep them open.

I have things to do and places to be, being tired just isnt in the plan.

I've heard that recovery from treatment can take a year or more. I suppose I have an excuse now. Maybe I AM still recovering? Frustrating. I want to be back to my old self and be able to do all i want to do without having to take a nap.

When i hit the one year mark of being finished with treatment then maybe i'll have my energy back.

fingers crossed

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