Tuesday, May 27, 2008


I'm sitting here on my couch, laptop on my lap, listening to the early morning birds sing their songs.

Its sunny out, beautiful temperature, whats there to be sad about?

Sometimes when things look and feel like nothing could be wrong with the world, it still is.

I've been in a funk for the last few days or so. Yesterday was not so good.

I know I "should" be enjoying the spring weather and getting out and appreciating all that the world offers. Thats not how it works sometimes.

Some days I just feel awful and theres no rhyme or reason for it.

I want to dissect my brain and figure out WHY!

Then I realize there is no why, and thats frustrating. I am a person who wants to figure it all out, and say "look, thats why this is happening!"

Not everything can be explained. Look at God or Goddess or Allah or Buddha or whatever higher power you want to honor, can we really explain or prove them? No.

I've been pondering my life and of course judging it fiercely. I'm not doing enough, i'm not happy enough, i'm not interesting enough.......the list goes on.

When will I be ok with myself and realize that I AM enough?

I know this isnt an inspiring blog today, but sometimes I need to just be real and say whats on my mind. Maybe this can be a thought provoking blog in a time when Memorial Day brings on so many emotions?

Theres so much sadness in the world right now, with the deaths in China and Myanmar and all over the world. Sometimes it just gets so overwhelming. I want to fix the world and when I can't i want to hide under the covers and say "whats the point of all this?"

Then the next day I wake up and I see the beauty again.

Its all about faith and trusting that life does have a purpose even with all the darkness.

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