Monday, May 19, 2008

More Light

I looked out my window a few minutes ago and realized it was still light out, and its 8pm!

I love this time of year, the days get longer and nature comes to life. I think of the word HOPE.

A dear young friend of mine who also has a blog asked about trips we have taken. I was reminded of when I was in Scotland. I went to the Isle of Skye and camped out near the ocean on a small beach. Really beautiful and peaceful. My friend and I didn't realize that it was the time of year when the light wins out over the dark. The sun didn't go down until around midnight and then came back up again a couple hours later. It was the oddest thing to not have much darkness. Our bodies have a hard time adjusting to the change. Its a little discombobulating. I kept looking at my watch in disbelief, wondering if the sun would go down and if we had traveled into a time warp.

It had the feeling of time standing still.

Many times I had wanted time to stand still when I was feeling good, not wanting things to change. Other times I would want time to go faster, especially when I was in treatment. I felt lousy and wanted to come out on the other side. Time could not go fast enough.

Now I am ok with how time is traveling. Every day is a blessing and seeing the sun out at 8pm reminded me of that today.

My parents used to tell me, as i'm sure many parents have told their children, that before we knew it we'd be all grown up and time would go by faster as we got older. Its so true. When I was young the summers seemed to last forever, each day was filled with adventure. Maybe as we get older we just appreciate time more and realize that it can go by us without us noticing. When you have a serious disease or illness I believe that feeling triples in force.

I'm not saying that I appreciate every minute of every day. I really don't. I'm human and lots of days I don't "do" anything, but I do appreciate being here and experiencing what I am doing, even if its just writing in this blog.

The blue sky is now turning to a beautiful indigo, and in a few minutes it will be black out my windows.

Tomorrow the sun will stay out even longer, one more minute to watch the sunset, one more minute to see the shadows turn to black. One more minute to ponder the days activities.

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