Monday, October 15, 2012


No, I'm not able to be experiencing PMS, but thats what it feels like to me lately.

My hormones must be having a party in my head and body right now.

I'm very much all over the place emotionally.

One minute I'm SO excited about my trip to Florida in TWO DAYS!!!! yay!!!

Then the next minute I'm worried about traveling and all the details, packing ....

I'm getting my oxygen tank on wheels to bring with me on the plane today. I'm also getting all the meds I take so i'll be all set for the week.

It all just hits me hard at times. I"m now a person who needs to wear a mask on a plane or in a place with lots of people. I need to have oxygen at the ready. I can't take my long walks I used to take. Climbing my two flights of stairs makes me feel like I've run a marathon at times.

I could go on but thats just too much of a pity party for anyone to deal with....

So you get the idea right?

Acceptance of my situation and feeling grateful for what I CAN do is what I'm working on.

Keeping it real ya know. Thats how I am. I have to share the good with the ugly messy as well.

There is an article I posted on my facebook account about metastatic breast cancer and the people who live with it every day. Like me. The loneliness and feeling like you have one foot in life and one foot in death. How do I decide what to plan for? Do I plan for anything in the future? Why? Not knowing what's going to happen next. I feel a bit like I have a time bomb in me.

Very strange place to live in, this journey I'm on. Very strange indeed.


Anonymous said...

I really appreciate you sharing so candidly. I truly hope you have a great week and though it will be exhausting, I know you will have a marvelous time.

All my love

Anonymous said...

Big hugs to you Jenn.

Love Larry