Monday, July 14, 2008

Reluctance

I am really reluctant to post today due to not knowing what to say and wishing I were more positive.

I keep reminding myself that I didn't start this blog to only be positive. There are a gazillion blogs out there that can give extreme positivity if thats what is needed. I want my blog to be real.

So, on that note, i'm still reluctant. No one wants to be a downer or negative.

I'm human, I'm going to be who I am and thats not always positive.

I've been struggling with the dark clouds over head lately. Depression can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

I'm sure most people have some form of depression and it can last from hours to a couple of days, but for clinical depression, it can be very severe and last quite a long while.

Some days I can have some sadness and a good walk can help lessen the intensity.

Lately, however, nothing seems to work. Thats when I know its serious. Walks, being with friends, happy movies, good music, ....nothing helps and sometimes makes me feel worse.

I usually just have to ride the waves and coast into shore hopefully on my feet and not with a mouth full of sand.

Thats about all I have to say today....I'm still here and still riding the waves, reluctantly.

2 comments:

Miss Melanoma said...

Grrrrl, I am the queen of the "I'm not going to post unless I can be positive" thing. When I go MIA, that's almost always the reason.

I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but I want you to know that you have all my sympathy. I wish I could offer you some peace, but I'm afraid my words are not able to give you that. However, if you ever need to vent, I'm here. Seriously. I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way.

-MM

Mrs. Honey said...

I know what you mean. Family members often tell me that they love my blog, though "not always what I write about." I usually take that personally and think they're offended by the nasty words I use on my very bad days. But we can't be positive 100% of the time. That's just inhuman. All we are are human beings - good days and bad.

Take it easy on yourself.

I found your blog through i2y's site. Adding you to my blogroll. I'll come back soon.

I hope the waves of sadness pass soon and settle down.