Saturday, October 17, 2009


So, it's Fall now....feels like Winter with the unusually low temps. Supposed to get back up to normal next week. I'm just not ready. Short Summer, short Fall....I want to fall to the ground and throw a huge tantrum about it!

I am now 40 years old. My mom said that now she can't say she has any children in their 30's anymore. My brother is 6 years older. She does have step children in their 30's.

I have mixed feelings about being 40. Mostly I feel it's just a number and I'm glad I am not in my 20's anymore. The 30's were pretty rough, so mostly I'm looking forward to the 40's. However.....looking at where I'm at in my life it can also be depressing at times.

I spoke with one woman about it the other day and she said that when she hit 40 she thought to herself that finally she can just settle in and relax. She had her marriage and children plus career and now could feel she's entitled to not strive for something more. Just be.

For me? Well, I'm still striving for something and someone.

Not married, no children, no boyfriend. No career. hmmm....a bit depressing huh?

I know that just because one is married with children doesn't mean all is blissfully right in their world. I recognize that some marriages are very challenging and exhausting and some career choices aren't all wonderful too.

The grass is always greener right?

I would just like to look back at my life and be o.k. with what I've accomplished. Ummmm, not so much.

I'm still here and still searching. Maybe my 40's will be full of happy surprises?

Fingers crossed.