Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy V-Day!

Happy Valentines Day! I took this shot during a blizzard the other day. Its hanging from my window

I love that I can still take photos and create my art even if I'm snowed in my apartment. :)

So I've never liked Valentines Day. I may have mentioned this before and I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. I've had other friends along the way who also hated it so I used to have Anti-Valentines day parties and go the nine yards...wearing black, can't touch one another if you are a couple, i passed out hand made hearts with cracks thru them for people to wear. Played love stinks in the back get the idea.

I think back then I was just sad that I rarely had a boyfriend on THE DAY. And all the pressure that goes with getting presents and receiving presents. I remember when I worked as a bank teller a million years ago, we'd all see the flower delivery person come in and try and guess who they'd be for and how good the arrangement was. Like it was being judged and then if they weren't all that...then the relationship would be judged. Are you kidding me!? wow!

Such pettiness.

The last few years I've tried to embrace it a bit more and not be so scrooge-like and angry about it.

I'm determined to look at things differently on my last valentines day. No I don't have a boyfriend who will buy me roses or make love to me by candle light, but I CAN think about love in general. Love for ALL beings who exist in my life and not.

So, ok....


I love that most mornings I wake up to see my cat next to me on my bed even though he can barely fit due to his size and me being in a hospital bed that is a twin size. I love that.

I love that most mornings the mourning doves out my window are waiting to get fed by me and just sitting on the tree out my window staring in at my window when I pull up the shade. I love that.

I love that there is a secret valentine post-er who posts regular sized white pieces of paper with a big red  heart on it, all over town. EVERYWHERE!!! I love love love that! You never know where they are going to be. On every business and window and store front and usually there are some challenges. Last year I think it was, there was one way way up high on our local museum, it would take a very high ladder or maybe theres a door up there that I can't see and this person has connections? The challenges are most fun. But it makes people smile so why not? Its been happening for years and years now.

I love that my digestive system is almost calmed down today, so i'm not in severe pain and exhaustion that i was for almost two days straight.

I love that I will be seeing my mom today. She already let loose that she painted me a picture of two of "my"mourning doves. I can't wait to see it!! My mom is a wonderful painter.

I also love that I will see my friend Gen to go do whatever. We are both photographers so we both, being single, have vowed to try and focus on LOVE when we shoot today. Maybe finding some heart shaped rocks or shooting what love looks like? Its also her birthday tomorrow, so I will be so happy so see her open her present and I hope she doesn't already have it. Fingers crossed.

I love so many people in my life who love me even though my brain isn't cooperating too well lately and has caused me to be cranky and irritable.

I love my hospice team who are there for me lovingly and not judging me or being rude to me. Compassionate. So important.

I have to say that I REALLY will be happy when its over. But for today I will try my hardest to let the negative feelings go about V-Day and enjoy it for what it is.

I hope you all have a great day too!

I'd love to hear any posts you may want to leave. Even if its just that you are reading the blog, would be wonderful. I'd love to visualize who is reading it. Thank you!

I also took this photo during a blizzard on the inside of my icy window  <3 p="">


Geneva Nelson said...

So looking forward to seeing you today Jenn! Love your post! Who says Valentine's Day is only for couples? I say, we should share our love with all the people in our lives!! <3 Gen

Jani Darak-Druck said...

This was posted on author Anne Lamott's Facebook page. I think you'll enjoy reading this, Jenn!

Status Update
By Anne Lamott
We are all so pumped about Valentine's Day. You could cut the excitement around here with a knife.

My first plan was to celebrate by giving the kitty a flea dip, and overeating, but I think I've come up with a better idea.

Now, most of all us have some wonderful Valentine's Days over the years; or at least days that were not SO excruciating that we wanted to die. Which is at least a start. For instance, I had a wonderful man for seven years, who made me the most incredible little cards every year, but because he did not believe in climate science, or that there was any real difference between McCain and Obama, there were tiny tensions off and on the rest of the time.

I would estimate that approximately 17% of people enjoy Valentine's day. Mostly, women will be given boxes of chocolates that they don't want and can't resist, and will be really mad at themselves for inhaling. Many people will be filled with resentment, anxiety, and guilt at having forgotten, or having shown up late, or having accidentally been having affairs with other people. Many people will feel a sheet-metal sense of loneliness and rejection. They will be comparing their insides with other people's outsides, especially those happy valentines actors in advertisements and commercials.

Most of the day, except for the lucky few, will be a nightmare.

So let's start an Occupy Valentine's Day movement.

Let's begin with the premise that another word for Valentine's Day is Thursday. And on Thursday, as an act of radical self-care, we will celebrate the miracle that a few people love us SO much, that we can go on, and bear up, no matter what; that even though they know the darkest, most human and intimate and disgusting stuff about us, they still love us. In fact, they love us more and more through the years. This is so wild, and is really my only hope. It is what salvation looks like. A handful of friends is the reason my faith in God is so deep. Because they ARE love; they (along with the dogs) are my most obvious connection to divine love in this joint, the looks of love on their faces.

Let's celebrate that all you need is love; and that God is Love and love is God; that Love will heal ALL, although unfortunately, maybe not on our time--ie by Wednesday, right after lunch. But it will. When all is said and done, Love is sovereign on this earth. So let's go crazy with love on Thursday. If we want to be filled with loving feelings, all it takes is to do a bunch of loving things for others and ourselves. That's all it takes! You take the action, and the insight will follow--that all you need is love. Crazy. We don't need to buy or be given a single thing, and we don't need to eat anything we don't really want. We'll just give each other secret love gestures all day. Okay? You in?

S. R. Roy said...

I've read your post, loved the photos, took joy in the fact that you're feeling better, appreciated your outward focus on the things that make you happy, and enjoyed the comments left by your friends. Thanks for making all that possible, Jenn. I hope you feel surrounded by love, today...and every day.