Thursday, February 14, 2013
I love that I can still take photos and create my art even if I'm snowed in my apartment. :)
So I've never liked Valentines Day. I may have mentioned this before and I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. I've had other friends along the way who also hated it so I used to have Anti-Valentines day parties and go the nine yards...wearing black, can't touch one another if you are a couple, i passed out hand made hearts with cracks thru them for people to wear. Played love stinks in the back ground....you get the idea.
I think back then I was just sad that I rarely had a boyfriend on THE DAY. And all the pressure that goes with getting presents and receiving presents. I remember when I worked as a bank teller a million years ago, we'd all see the flower delivery person come in and try and guess who they'd be for and how good the arrangement was. Like it was being judged and then if they weren't all that...then the relationship would be judged. Are you kidding me!? wow!
The last few years I've tried to embrace it a bit more and not be so scrooge-like and angry about it.
I'm determined to look at things differently on my last valentines day. No I don't have a boyfriend who will buy me roses or make love to me by candle light, but I CAN think about love in general. Love for ALL beings who exist in my life and not.
I love that most mornings I wake up to see my cat next to me on my bed even though he can barely fit due to his size and me being in a hospital bed that is a twin size. I love that.
I love that most mornings the mourning doves out my window are waiting to get fed by me and just sitting on the tree out my window staring in at my window when I pull up the shade. I love that.
I love that there is a secret valentine post-er who posts regular sized white pieces of paper with a big red heart on it, all over town. EVERYWHERE!!! I love love love that! You never know where they are going to be. On every business and window and store front and usually there are some challenges. Last year I think it was, there was one way way up high on our local museum, it would take a very high ladder or maybe theres a door up there that I can't see and this person has connections? The challenges are most fun. But it makes people smile so why not? Its been happening for years and years now.
I love that my digestive system is almost calmed down today, so i'm not in severe pain and exhaustion that i was for almost two days straight.
I love that I will be seeing my mom today. She already let loose that she painted me a picture of two of "my"mourning doves. I can't wait to see it!! My mom is a wonderful painter.
I also love that I will see my friend Gen to go do whatever. We are both photographers so we both, being single, have vowed to try and focus on LOVE when we shoot today. Maybe finding some heart shaped rocks or shooting what love looks like? Its also her birthday tomorrow, so I will be so happy so see her open her present and I hope she doesn't already have it. Fingers crossed.
I love so many people in my life who love me even though my brain isn't cooperating too well lately and has caused me to be cranky and irritable.
I love my hospice team who are there for me lovingly and not judging me or being rude to me. Compassionate. So important.
I have to say that I REALLY will be happy when its over. But for today I will try my hardest to let the negative feelings go about V-Day and enjoy it for what it is.
I hope you all have a great day too!
I'd love to hear any posts you may want to leave. Even if its just that you are reading the blog, would be wonderful. I'd love to visualize who is reading it. Thank you!