Sunday, July 14, 2013

Feeling Some Freedom

Hi Everyone!

I want to post about my wonderful day on Saturday and update you on what's happenin'.

I had my dear friend Nancy overnight on Friday and we had some time to catch up before
we both crashed a bit early. We were able to get up early in the morning to go to the beach
with our coffees. There was a road race happening where I usually like to go so we picked
a totally different place. I asked Nancy if I could drive. I LOVE driving her car. Its a stick shift
so its so much fun! It's been so long since I've driven. I felt good and wasn't feeling drugged up.
So, I drove for a while and it just felt so so good. The feeling of being independent again. The
windows open with our hair flying and we were laughing. No humidity to keep our windows shut
and have a/c. After a while Nancy drove and as we were crossing a bridge to go to our destination, I just started to cry. I felt the emotions coming up and I could have pushed them down, thinking this is silly to be crying over something like this, but I allowed myself to let the emotions come up. Nancy put her hand on my heart and my hand on hers as I cried. It was like I was "normal" again. Like before the cancer had come back. I was independent again. I was free. I felt so light
and happy and like someone who maybe was incarcerated for a while. I don't know for sure but that's possibly what it felt like. Freedom.

I have been cooped up in my apartment for quite some time due to the immense humidity. I could go for short rides to the store and maybe a cafe'. But not for a long time and always from A/C to A/C. I don't know how people can live like that in the Southern States where you have to have it all the time. I love the dry air and the feeling of my lungs being able to take a full inhalation, well, as full as I can right now. We were at a small beach with no one else around except to see the lighthouse nearby. We found lots of seaglass that was not quite "cooked" yet, so we threw them back into the sea. Nancy continued to do that while I made a sculpture with a stick and bright green seaweed with other objects. It was so much fun. Like playing as a child. I then took lots of photos. It felt so good to take pictures again.

We had to get back fairly soon because we both had places to be or friends to be with next.

I then said goodbye to Nancy and my friend Chrissy came to get me shortly after.

We went to another little beach about 20 mins from here. We too had tried another place and found there to be no parking. We thought we were settling for this small beach area but it actually ended up being the perfect place for me anyway. It was shaded and had hardly anyone around.

Nancy and I also had found a yard sale. I LOVE yard sales. It felt so good to find one. I had missed them so much lately. I found a nice floppy hat to wear. So I wore my floppy hat with Chrissy on this small beach. We had got sandwiches and ate them on the beach while we looked at the mounds of lobster traps floating in the water on a plank of wood. I suppose they need to be protected. People may want to steal them to get their own lobsters? Lots of sail boats to look at as well. A small black lab puppy was there near us. I asked them if I could pet him. Luckily they said yes, I was chomping at the bit to go over there and say hi. His name is Thunder. So sweet. I love getting puppy kisses.

Chrissy went out in the water so I did too. I ended up bringing my lovely rabbit Henry with me whom I take pictures of and make greeting cards out of. He has a music box in him and is to be around 30 years old. So Henry went onto a rock in the water, Chrissy was helping me. She became my assistant. We put Henry on branches of trees and leaves, and rocks. The rock formations and grooves were tremendous. I loved taking pics of them.

When Chrissy and I were almost up to our knees in the water we saw a rusty huge chain that was attached to the ground and then some seaweed was attached to it floating on top of the water. Chrissy grabbed the chain and then we saw at the bottom a good sized crab. He had a small shell on his head, like a hat. We were joking about that, he was sweet. Until another crab came over and crab with hat didn't like this intruder. They started fighting! Chrissy said it was like watching the Titans. So funny but I also didn't feel like getting in their way. I was quickly out of the water. Chrissy stayed and gave me some commentary. LOL.... no way was I going to get pinched by those claws. To be honest, the crab was probably only the size of my hand, not too huge. Still..... :)

I suddenly got pretty tired and Chrissy could tell. She suggested I lay down and rest and she would peruse the beach for goodies to find.

I just listened to the waves and sea life with my eyes closed. So wonderful.

After being recharged a bit, I took more pics of some of what Chrissy had found.

Then it was time for me to go home and really rest.

I didn't want to go home.

I had had a rough few days before Saturday and just wanted this good feeling to last and last and last.

I have the memory and so I can try and tap into that when I'm in my apt this week due to high humidity. I am just so open to experience things that I took for granted before. I am appreciative of so much now.

I also got a cane recently. Yep, a cane. My muscles are weakening a bit in my legs, arms and hands. I get twitching in my hands mostly. I notice now, its harder to walk up my two flights of stairs. So, my nurse ordered a cane. I do have osteoporosis, so it would really suck if I fell and broke a bone or two. I may not heal properly or.....?

So, its black and not so cool looking. My friends have been great, all suggesting ideas of dressing it up. I also hung out with a friend today who bought me another cane that is pretty flash I must say. lol.
It is black with pretty flowers on it. Purple, pink, blue and mauve. It's pretty sturdy. I may use this one first and then go with the hospital one. It is maybe slightly more sturdy. We were talking today, Melissa and I, about getting one for each outfit. I at least have to put some purple on the black one, to match my hair.

So, Bob, the medicine bag, has been really a pain lately. We're not talking at the moment. LOL,'s been a struggle to carry it every where. I just want to throw it across the room sometimes. It is something I can NEVER put down and walk away from except when I take a shower. That is hard. It's like carrying an extra weight with you when you sleep and eat and dress and so forth.

Finding the balance has been tricky when the weather has been so bleak and oppressive. I can find it a bit easier when I can get out and about and get to nature. Nature is a healer of my soul.

So, we have Bob and the cane and some physical issues. Then we have a wonderful day of freedom that re-energized me.

That's my latest update.....

Thank you all so much for reading. I love you and am tremendously grateful for you all and keep the comments coming!


S. R. Roy said...

I'm very happy to see that you had such a good weekend, Jenn. I hope the coming week yields many good moments, too.
Love you!
P.S. It amazes me how you always match the right graphic to your words. Very nice!!!

Anonymous said...

Great to hear the details of your wonderful weekend!

Love you!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Sue ... Great choices.

A Maine summer, the beach and friends. Lovely.

Love, Ellis

Me From Maine said...

What a glorious weekend!!! I'm glad you got a flashy cane, too :) This humidity definitely has been yucky! Naturally, my hubs from down under thinks this weather is perfectly swell. Needless to say, we disagree on that point ;)

Love and hugs to you! ~ Val