Day Twenty Seven

Wow, what a hot and humid night last night, it got up to the nineties yesterday. Broke all kinds of weather records. Hello global warming.

Walked to radiation this morning.

It was a busy morning in the waiting area. Usually i see one person from time to time but today there were two women waiting. I spoke with one woman who was about to have her first treatment. She is having a different kind of radiation treatment than I am having. Apparently its a type of ablation, where a balloon was surgically placed on the side of her breast and then i'm not sure what happens. She told me she has had the lump for years and has just been watching it, along with her doctors. It changed recently and turned cancerous but they still got it early. She's having ten treatments. No chemo, so shes lucky in that sense.

She along with a few people lately, have asked how old i am, and that i seem young. I mention my age and people agree that i am indeed young. It got me thinking. Age is relative isnt it? I believe in general that people are more upset when they hear of someone young, especially children, getting sick. I know for me i get more upset when i see animal abuse than some accident or illness someone may get. Dont get me wrong, i am upset at most tragic events, but for some reason it hits me hardest when i see animals suffer. Maybe its the helpless feeling or the confusion of how someone could hurt an animal, i dont understand it.

I notice children with cancer now and have a bit of a different view on things. I see anyone with cancer and think its not right, no matter how old they are. Its not fun and no one should have to go through it. When older people get sick its almost accepted and people say "well, they had a full life".

I know I am lucky compared to lots of sick people who are in pain and are suffering so much more than me.

I was speaking with another survivor today who has a friend who was recently diagnosed with ALS, (Lou Gehrigs Disease), .......now that is an awful awful disease! I really dont think i could ride that journey out to the end. She has four children as well. Puts things into perspective for me.

My friend and I were also speaking about how we don't know how we are going to die, even she, whose cancer has come back in her bones, doesnt really know if thats how shes going to die. She mentioned how she almost got hit in a crosswalk the other day, a three car fender bender as she was crossing the street. She said that that would have been ironic dying that way instead of cancer.

I was leaving the hospital today and there was a fierce thunder and lightning storm going on. I had to run for the bus in pouring rain, coming down in sheets. Lightning all around. I have a bit of a dislike of T&L storms, i dont mind the rain but the lightning i can do without. Its so unpredictable and dangerous. i sat on the bus and we just rode around in what seemed to be the eye of the storm, rain is pouring into the bus through the windows, wind blowing, seats getting soaked, lightning all around. We're sitting in a metal box with windows all around us. Not a joy ride for me. I just sat with my eyes closed most of the time, trying to breathe. I was thinking how ironic it would be if i died by lightning, .....but it really isnt ironic. None of us know how we are going to die, or when, just that we will someday.

Only six more to go!