Tuesday, April 16, 2013
A nurse came in yesterday to take the first needle that had been put in three days ago, out and put in another needle in on the other side of my stomach. I was a little nervous, only due to the pain and soreness I experienced the first time. This time was much better but the nurse and I discovered that I "may be" allergic to the plastic covering or one of the topical ointments put on to sterilize the area before the needle is injected. Here I am, the sensitive one, once again. LOL
My step sister and I were joking about how I should have a sticker or a sign saying.......I am the Sensitive Girl. Be aware! I'm in the 1 % of the population who can't tolerate this or that. I can handle a lot of other things. Im not allergic to any foods that I know of. Just a couple of meds and certain topical lotions and laundry detergents. Sigh.....
So, being a very sensitive nurse as she is, Nurse S, I'll call her.....was patient and said after seeing the redness come up after a little while with the new needle to just keep an eye on it and see what happens. It didn't get much worse. So I'm thankful for that. It is still a little red this morning but not spread further out.
The most annoying thing i'm finding is being attached to the pack. I still can't take a shower yet. I have to learn from the very skilled nurses on what to do to shower. Right now, i"m just sponge bathing. Lets be honest. Sponge bathing is NOT the same as a real shower. Have you been camping?
I still haven't had to been able to wash my hair. I HAVE to do it today. NO ANDS IFS OR BUTTS about it. LOL
Ok, enough of that part.....
.....except for being attached....
I'm forgetting sometimes that I'm attached to this pack and one time (so far) I have forgotten and got up from my bed and pulled on the cord and the pack came flying down onto the floor. Yikes! It made all kinds of weird noises and I decided to ignore it for a few mins and see if it would go back to normal, which it did. Later on I found out it was fine. I figured if it stopped beeping and the noises came back, that it was fine.
I got thinking about how we are all attached to things. Am I attached to this physical thing that is supposed to be easier on me by having to take less pills a day and the effects of it getting to my brain is faster. So far the jury is out on that one
There are other attachments we have. Should we call them attachments or addictions? Hmmmm....
I love my cup of PG Tips tea in the morning. One cup of tea with milk only. I love love love it.
Is that an attachment or an addiction. I believe I could let it go. I have before.
I'm attached to my wonderful cat Stewie. That is definitely not an addiction. Right? I love him and don't want to give him up till I have to. People keep asking if there has been anyone who wants to adopt him. I give them the current phrase that I trust that he will have a home when the time comes. I am not in any way shape or form giving him up BEFORE I die. NO WAY! He is my Angel Boy. He has been there for me when no one else could be, which is not implying I was all alone during my first treatment, but I did live alone and he was the only other being there to help me during those dark times at night.
Attachments.....what are they for YOU? Is it a teddybear that you sleep with at night that no one could rip out of your hands? Is it a purple toxic painted lunchbox you got as a girl in the fifth grade that you don't want to get near but just can't get rid of? Sentimental attachments seem to be at the top of the list don't they?
I see this site on FB that I believe is called Simplicity or Minimalist.
I have told myself many times that some day I will get rid of ALL of my things and have ONLY the essentials. I tried a few months a go, or maybe it was last Fall?, anyway, I did get rid of a lot of things, according to my standards, but I still have lots of stuff.
I am giving away lots of sentimental things as I can. Which has been emotional and very cathartic for me and for other family members.
Attachments, ......What does that mean to you and do you think you have a balanced way of living with them or without them? Do you feel you have only a few that seems reasonable to have in your basement?
Or are we talking about internal attachments to things in our mind, our emotional self. What are we attached to internally?
Maybe this needs a part two some time?
Have a gorgeous day today and my heart goes out to all the people that were killed and injured and affected by yesterdays' Boston Marathon Bombing.
My family were so proud that we knew of someone famous from our area who ran the marathon for many years, Joan Benoit. It was a big big deal. If I am correct, she was the first woman to win the marathon?
I didn't even know the bombing happened yesterday. I haven't watched t.v. much lately. I found out by turning a channel to find something happening last night to tape for a friend who I tape shows for that we watch every week. The news was on and I saw the ticker tape on the bottom.....Boston Marathon Bombing!
I live not far from Boston. Scary. There are so many scary things happening EVERY SINGLE DAY. I chose months ago to NOT watch the news even if its horrible. I will get the basic information, I will light my candles and send prayers out to all involved and then I will move on to something else.
I can and have been attached to the news. It is not a healthy thing for me to do and I can't do anything about what happened. Its an awful awful thing that another human being or beings could do this to others.
I have to turn off the t.v. and watch something positive and funny. Some might think that is being unaware or selfish or whatever judgments people want to throw at me. I believe it is taking care of ME and what I need to do. I am sending prayers and healing to all the people involved and I personally believe that is a very good thing to do.
We all have our ways of grieving and helping and that is mine right now.
Blessings to you all today.
Love is all there is and I will be sending Love to all around me.