Sunday, September 16, 2007

Day Eighteen

Posting late again....

Friday was a pretty good day, at least the first part.

My friend Nancy came here from NH thursday afternoon and stayed the night. We had some yummy food from the local organic market nicknamed whole wallet. I had to get some dessert as well. I got some chocolate gelato, reminded me of my time in Italy. so many interesting flavors to choose from. We watched a movie and had a relaxing evening. In the morning Nancy came with me to my radiation treatment. No walking for me, we had her car. It was a nice break i must say. Before we left, however, we walked to the little coffee shop nearby and then walked down to the ocean, lovely morning.

We got to the hospital a few minutes late but nothing horrible. I saw Mr A there, I was glad to see him and happy Nancy had got to meet him. I got changed and then Nancy and I went into the chamber. Miss V and R were more than happy to show Nancy the machine and how it works etc. Miss V seemed especially eager to teach Nancy like she had been teaching the student the other day. R seemed a bit annoyed, saying that Nancy now knows more than I do about my treatments. Nancy was definitely impressed with how it all worked, how precise it all is. She told me that when i was getting the doses, she would watch me on the monitors and also watch this cool computer graphic going on of me in real time, she said it was 3-D and showed the lines of where exactly the radiation was hitting and made sure that the areas treated didnt overlap. I wish i could see it. Maybe there will be a patient who wouldnt mind me watching while they get their treatments and i'll check it out.

Nancy got to gab with Mr A a bit while i applied lotion and got dressed. Mr A has lots of stories to tell.

After we left the hospital Nancy needed to get home to work. she dropped me off at the library and we said our goodbyes. I found i was practically sleepwalking through the stacks of books and videos. My eyes were struggling to stay open and i couldnt stop yawning. The treatment hit me hard that morning.

I had to take a bus home due to my exhaustion.

I got home and crashed out for quite a while. Fridays are the toughest it seems. I felt ill that night and just relaxed.

I got some confirmation recently from my mom. She said a man she casually knows, told her that his wife pretty much sailed through her chemo treatments but was floored by the radiation. I guess its not just me.

Today, sunday, i tried to bring some books and things downstairs to add to the sidewalk sale my neighbor was having and found i didnt have it in me. luckily a friend of my neighbors helped me carry things down. Thank you neighbor friend! I sat out front for a couple of hours, only sold a few things, then started to feel nauseous and not too well, came on all of a sudden. guess i pushed it a bit. I took some things back up stairs, but left most of it for my neighbor to sell for herself. I had also walked to a bakery, i used to work at years ago, early this morning. I had a craving for a brioche roll. Been years since i had had one. yum!

I feel i'm doing more things that i used to deny myself from, like buying that brioche roll, or getting that gelato, or walking somewhere i havent been in a long time. I try to go with my instincts or impulses lately, even if it seems silly. I know from reading peoples experiences or speaking with people with cancer that your health and how you live can change in a matter of moments, you never know if you'll have the chance to do those little things you think you'll do another time. You never know.

Only 15 more to go!

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