Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Day Seven

Ok, i'm finally up to real time, finished copying my journals into this blog, so today is actually
August 29th. Hopefully from now on i can continue blogging on the actual day.

It's "hump" day! Only 2 more treatments this week, then i have a three day weekend. Labor Day is already upon us.

Woke up this morning feeling "heavy". I haven't had many hot flashes lately, maybe my ovaries are deciding to wake up? Maybe i'm hormonal? It's so hard to determine what my body is going through, how to guess the symptoms' cause. I don't know how doctors do it. Its really guess work.
You just hope that the doctors get it right most of the time.

I'm sitting at another cafe, waiting for my next appointment nearby. I ordered a cup of decaf. Its luke warm and tastes like its been sitting since yesterday. I know decaf isnt popular but come on! Food was pretty good. I appreciate food so much more since I am on a restricted sodium diet. I dont eliminate all foods i'm not supposed to have, i just eat a couple of bites and leave it at that. I savor each bite.

I know there are people right now, fighting cancer, that arent able to swallow at all, arent able to taste food, and if they can eat, they can get nauseous after eating. I know i'm lucky to be able to eat, swallow and taste the food and drink i ingest.

I was able to walk to the hospital today. Nurse C didnt even stop talking to her co-worker to look at me when i smiled at her. When i left later on, I said bye to her and she barely acknowledged me.

The techs were nice. R and V definitely were trying to cheer me up a bit. It was nice to get the attention.

An older man and i'm guessing his daughter, were in the waiting room. He didnt have to put on a gown, he mentioned to his daughter that he would just take off his shirt when he got in there.
Lucky. I havent noticed too many younger people in the waiting room yet, maybe i'm in too early to see too many people.

I make sure my head is turned a bit to the left before they start the radiation now. V said to me the first day she worked with me, that I needed to get my neck out of the way. No one else had told me that before that time. Makes me wonder if my neck area was affected the week V wasnt around, when my head wasnt turned, or if it doesnt make a huge difference. All of these unknowns.

Faith has to play a part in all this. Even if you are an atheist, you must have to put some faith in your doctors and the path you've chosen for treatment. Letting go, trusting.

As the day went on I started feeling pretty awful. I got home after picking up a Rx. I was feeling nauseous again, and quite out of it. I layed in bed for a couple of hours, not wanting to move. Maybe i overdid it with my walking around town after treatment today? not sure. Hope i feel better tomorrow. Only 26 more to go!

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